Saturday, June 14, 2014

CHILD ABUSE!


CHILD ABUSE!
MOST AMERICANS OPPOSE CHILD ABUSE!
CHILD ABANDONMENT IS A FORM OF CHILD ABUSE!
ADDICTIONS AND CHILD ABANDONMENT ARE SYNONYMOUS!
HOW MUCH LONGER WILL THIS COUNTRY TURN A BLIND EYE TO AN OBVIOUS PLAGUE THAT IS PARALYZING THIS ONCE GREAT NATION? 


Any and All child abuse is the most heinous form of sinful behavior on earth! Satan uses it every day to destroy generation after generation! Perhaps the most common form of child abuse in the world today is the least obvious or noticed and acknowledged form of abuse there is today. It certainly never makes the news, yet can be every bit as damaging to the innocent and vulnerable child! The real problem is that it never will make the news because millions of parents are guilty of it every day! The abuse I’m referring to is child abandonment, which every parent is guilty of the minute they get drunk or high! It can’t be avoided or denied!    


“Every child of an alcoholic or addicted parent is an abandoned child! An abused child! It can't be avoided!” I began writing this a few days ago, right after another school shooting, and have been posting it on FB. I’ve decided it needs more explanation. 90% of the clean and sober general public has no idea how widespread and problematic drunkenness and drug addictions are in the world today! That should be obvious since our country is in the midst of legalizing drugs one state at a time! Our future is in the toilet! And about to be flushed! 

The definition of an alcoholic or addict should need no explanation, but it does! Since 90% of alcoholics and addicts are in total denial of their addictions, and defending their ignorant, dangerous, destructive, reckless, selfish, and unhealthy behavior, first by claiming it’s “not a problem,” or, “I have a right,” or, “I’m not hurting anyone but myself,” or a hundred other commonly heard excuses! The very simple truth is, that any of these millions of lost souls who happen to be parents, are guilty of child abuse! (Abandonment is most certainly a form of abuse) A drunk or stoned parent is incapable of providing the Love, and attention every child needs and is entitled to!

The deplorable conditions we see in the world today, the heinous news headlines that have become daily events, the overcrowded prisons, and homelessness, poverty, and blight, the sex crimes and child abuse, are all a direct result of a society with their heads in the sand, in complete and total denial of the selfish and uncaring behavior of the millions of parents who put themselves and their addictions first, before their children’s welfare!    

About the author; Every word I’ve written in the past 5 years, I’ve learned not from books and educational institutions, but from 100% hands-on experience, (been there, done that, the bottle, the joint, the needle, the pill). I should have been dead a long time ago, but God clearly wanted me to share this with you!

THE PARENT IN DENIAL OF THE TROUBLED CHILD

The typical parent, who is in denial of their own addictions, will most certainly be in denial of other obviously related deficiencies and shortcomings. Rejection and abandonment of an innocent and defenseless child is just as abusive as physical or sexual abuse! Denial is the foundation of all addictions! All parents suffering with addictions are in denial, not only of their addictions, but subsequently of the accompanying deficiencies, shortcomings, and character flaws. In plain and simple English, the hard fact is that an alcoholic or a drug addict has NO business raising a child! An alcoholic or addict is, by the very nature of their addictions, deemed incapable of the most fundamental responsibilities of parenting! Alcoholics and addicts can’t take care of themselves, and are totally irresponsible over their own lives and welfare; why suspect they could raise a child to be a responsible adult? These are the parents who will quickly say in defense of their obviously troubled child’s bad behavior, “He or she wouldn’t do that,” or, “maybe they had a beer or two, or a joint or two, or a pill or two, BUT they don’t have a problem”! I’ve heard on a number of occasions, especially in aa type meetings, parents say something to the effect of, “kids will be kids,” or “we need to let our children experiment”! The parent who believes that, needs to have their “parenting license” pulled, just as a drunken driver “experimenting” with speed and alcohol needs to be taken off the road before they crash and kill innocent victims!

I find it interesting, but troubling, that as I’ve been writing more and more on this subject during the past year or two, I get very little feedback. I’m sure I’m touching a very sensitive nerve, but one that really needs to be shocked! I’m perfectly aware that no parent reading this, who might be guilty of this heinous accusation, either past or present, will admit to it. I wouldn’t have myself 30 years ago when I was raising my family. I was a “functioning” drunk, who got up and went to work every day, and thought I was doing all the right things as a parent, and have been blessed with 2 children who chose not to follow in either parent’s footsteps. Every sober day for the past 30 years has shown me just how blessed I am, not only to have survived myself, but to have 2 sober, successful, children, capably raising my grandchildren.    
The phrase “functioning drunk,” is a misnomer! One created by a drunk a long time ago to excuse their “disfunctional” behavior! One I’ve heard a million times in addiction recovery program meetings! There is no such thing as a functional addict! Getting up to work and pay bills to survive is not an example of life as God intended us to experience, but of survival as an animal in a jungle! The term “functioning drunk,” is a big part of denial! A person will stay in denial until they consciously realize that their lives are a “dysfunctional” disaster! And the many definitions of “disaster” are more perfect ways of describing the lives of alcoholics and addicts, and sadly in most cases, their families! The innocent victims of addictions! Words like, tragedy, disaster, catastrophe, calamity, ruin, failure, all describe disaster, which are the exact definitions of the results of addictions!

For anyone struggling with drug or alcohol addictions to think that they can “function” adequately enough to sufficiently and successfully raise a child in this world, they are in total and complete denial! For anyone to read this and disagree, you are in total and complete denial. Some may read this and just not know the truth because you’ve been blessed to have not “been there, done that”! Most of the world’s population has never been exposed to the absolute tragedy of “drunkenness,” as it has been known and explained throughout God’s Word! I consider myself Blessed, to have not only experienced it, but to have survived it, and to now know that the only reason to have survived, is to share it with anyone who will listen! Unless we’ve personally experienced “anything,” our advice and consolation can only be based on hearsay. We can only “imagine” what a broken arm feels like, unless we’ve personally experienced it!           



Tuesday, June 3, 2014

DRUNKENNESS = IGNORANCE !

DRUNKENNESS = IGNORANCE !

99 out of 100 alcoholics and addicts take their first drink or use their first drug for exactly the same reason. To escape from what’s usually a very simple, normal, and common daily event in all of our lives, but too painful for some to tolerate. We can’t face reality, and seek ways to hide from it. When addictions start early with teens, it’s often because of perceived rejection of peers, or perhaps perceived unjust discipline by parents or other authority. Whatever the perceived reasoning, hiding from it will never allow someone to discover reality! Those who turn to drugs and alcohol to escape, will continue to live in a cloud of fantasy until the day they decide to accept their state of denial, and turn from it! While there are many very painful realities in today’s world, accepting, and learning to cope with, and overcome them is vital to growing and maturing.      

Accepting the many hard truths that come with accepting the biggest hard truth, which is that "I'm a drunk, or an addict," can be just as hard as the first! But it's all part of the very long road of recovery which doesn't begin until we completely acknowledge our denial, and begin accepting those many hard truths about who and why we are who we are! The drunk and addict who has been so for a significant period of time needs to realize that they are quite different than their peers, and that it will take some time to “catch up” and “fit in” with others, if they choose to do so.

During the past 15 years working in addiction recovery, I've discovered that reclusiveness is a very common characteristic of most of the people I've worked with.
Whenever an alcoholic or addict makes the choice to use their drug of choice to numb the pain, and silence the harsh realities of life, they are traveling backwards, not forwards. They are not growing, maturing, learning, or moving forwards! They are mired in the present muck that they’ve created. One cannot learn their simple abc’s while inebriated into a state of unconsciousness! The longer a person chooses to stay in their state of drunkenness, the more retarded they become. A thirty year old person, who started using drugs and alcohol to escape reality at 15 years old, has the intelligence of a 15 year old.

Anyone who has experimented with drugs or alcohol just one time, and allowed themselves to get drunk or high, knows that they can’t remember anything from the night before! It only stands to reason that anyone who indulges in drugs and alcohol on a daily basis will experience the same aftermath. They can’t remember anything from the time they spend wasted! The only learning and remembering accomplished by alcoholics and addicts is done so during the occasional moment, hour, or day, when one might experience a short glimpse of sobriety in between their drunken stupors!